It is April fools day, how many fools out there fell for a joke?.
I normally don't post negative things on my blog, for some reason I feel like if I need to post something might as well be positive since we live in a crappy world full of disappointments and sometimes is nice to come online read some blogs and feel better because someone left a positive blog or comment on your own blog. but today is one of those days that i feel like, maybe its my turn to leave a negative post and maybe fish for positive comments. if i get any. I have been feeling like crap lately, and I had a horrible week this past week, I won't go in too much detail since i'm afraid that some people might read this and might know who i am. but anyway point of this is my week was horrible, i feel emotionally drained, i feel mentally exhausted, its like my brain is thinking so much even when i am sleeping i still feel that way. its frustrating its like i haven't really had rest, and most of the time i don't know who to talk to about what i am feelings because its either one of these two things. 1: I don't want to worry the people that care or 2: I don't want to feel judge, so in a way I am bottling everything up and i feel that i am going to explode!
This is not even about my weight lost because in that part i am seeing progress I am weight 119lbs and I have less body fat and more muscle i feel it in my clothes and i can see it on my body, my waist is finally 25inches and i was 28! so that's a change .
but this rant is more about my actually life outside of my weight, i feel sometimes I'm drowning in my own thoughts and i need to put them down somewhere.. so I feel like maybe the only way to do so is just type away, I don't want to feel judge and probably will since I'm pretty much doing this publicly instead of like.. Hello! keep a journal or something, But i feel like this blog is my journal i don't know maybe i'm crazy. but my thoughts are catching up to me and i son't know what to do with myself anymore, I feel sometimes lonely like i can't count on anyone or like I have no friends, even though i am well aware that i do. then it hits me that I can't even have guy friends because everything gets screwed over when they start getting delusional and think that you might have a crush on them and they have a chance and that friendship is gone forever. but i don't even know where I am getting through all this, this is how crazy my mind just speeds away and i don't even know if I am making any sense.. but whatever.. I hope next week i feel better things get better and I can move away from these thoughts.
well i hope that everyone is have a great first day of a new month and that next month more people reach the goals they are aiming for! good luck to everyone
love
PZ
4 words of Motivation:
Thanks for your comments on my page. I appriciate it and will be reading from now on.
you're welcome :) and thank you. <3
just let it all out girly. I figure ppl follow you for a reason, i wouldnt worry about getting judged. I sure wouldn't judge you. I hope you feel better soon!
Thank you I hope i feel better soon too. :)
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